I am so hard on myself.

Basically, I have this overwhelming tendency to take on way too much. I bet you’ve been there before, yes? It seems every outside ask or suggestion lately, that breezes past my ears, turns to inner contemplation and conviction to personally assume and tackle the entire multitude of needs around me.

But, I am whooped. Bluntly speaking, I just want to scream, ”NO!” and bail on all commitments. Likely from having yes’d my way to overload. Problem is, in moments of pause amidst the running crazy, I peek up and see what I still haven’t been able to get to. So much need. How can I possibly say, “no?“

If I turn down a request, I could be perceived as a wimpy mooch, letting other struggling souls pick up the slack I’m blowing off. Right? Because they don’t see the internal, or behind the scenes, “stuff” of my life. They just witness what I’m “not” doing.

That’s the story in my head anyway.

And then I start to believe it too. Yep… I’m a slouch. Even though I feel like I’ve just run my own secret marathon, I buy into what I think “the world” might see.

Can you relate to what I’m saying? Are you hard on yourself too? Judging your intentions, and value even, based on others’ potential perceptions?

But who really knows what they see? Or what they think? And why do I care so much? Only God’s opinion matters, I tell myself. But what if he sees me missing the mark too? Honestly, sometimes I’m not 100% sure what HE wants of me either. You? 

In my weary wondering a word appeared to me. A truthful reminder and glimpse of hope that may give you some peace while you resist beating yourself up with me…

Grace.

Friends, I remembered God’s grace. He has so much of it. Infinite… grace. That means it doesn’t really matter if you don’t measure up to the world, or even miss a nudge from the Lord here and there.

Sure he’d like us to follow his commands and be obedient to his callings on our life.  BUT… he desires your heart more than your hurry anyway. And he has so much grace to give you and me. If you’re spent, he just wants you to run to his loving open arms.

How about it?

How about we stop stressing what we should or shouldn’t be doing, and what others may or may not be thinking? If you are weary, rest in his presence… receive his peace… and relish in his unlimited grace for you, his beloved.

Reflect:

Are you measuring yourself up against what others “might” think? Is it wearing you down? How would accepting God’s unlimited grace impact your life right now?

Pray: 

Lord God, I’m overwhelmed with the weight of the world’s expectations. I want to live only for you. I know that your grace is so incredibly big, and you want my heart more than anything my hands might deliver. Thank you for your grace. Thank you for your peace. Help me cling to your gracious gifts and find rest in you. In your loving name, Amen. 

Seek the Word:  

Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. (John 1:16) But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. (Ephesians 4:7) The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” (Exodus 33:14)

Have a blessed week! 

Your friend, Keri Ann

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