Alright, mamas! And dads…because I know you “guys” struggle with this too! Time to listen up! Believe it or not we’re already nearing a month into summer and you’re feeling a little cray-cray! Before you read any further,  I want you to breathe. Right now. STOP. Close your eyes, breathe in, now breathe out. Yes, you’ve been feeling like a race car driver who just lost control of the oversized vehicle you lug around all those kids in, but I’m here to tell you (and myself), YOU ARE NORMAL. This summer doesn’t look the way you planned in your mind. But, really, does it ever? Remember when the spring had first sprung and you found yourself day dreaming of making all kinds of summer memories? The ones like you have from your childhood. Backyard grill-outs, catching lightning bugs in Mason jars or even Solo cups. Maybe on the first day of summer you made a “summer to-do list” for your kids to help out around the house, a list of all the friends you were going to make a point to get together with, the yard plans, the books you were going to read.

Did anyone else decide this was the summer they were going to get up early before the kids and go to the gym or start running before the kids got up? You said, “This summer, I’m going to get up gracefully before anyone in the house, make the perfect cup of coffee, read my daily devotional to fill my soul, jog a few easy breezy miles, and be ready with a gracious smile and a fantastic attitude to greet the other three (or six in my case) inhabitants in your house.”  All before you’re off to work or ready to spend the day at home with those joyful, respectul, responsible children of yours. Do you remember your pre-summer plans??? And good gracious, look at us now! An entire third of the way through the summer and it feels like you just posted your kids’ last day of school pics on Instagram, and you now wake up in the morning trying to decide if this is the day you should start your “summer agenda.” …Nah! I’m too tired now. This summer stuff is kicking my butt!

In fact, if you’re like me, you’re actually starting to feel like one big fat failure. Truth! Reality is starting to set in, you probably found yourself looking at a friend sometime in the past week and said, “we’ll be sending the kids back to school before you know it.” And if you’re being honest, most of you probably even got a warm feeling in your heart at that very thought! You’ve now decided this whole “no routine” thing is not for you and you’re convinced there’s just NO such thing as “routine” in the summer anyway. Friends, there is NOT. It doesn’t exist. I know you too well, you had high hopes for the summer, you wanted to do stuff, you wanted your kids to have “experiences”, you wanted to create or continue traditions. What a beautiful picture! But how do we forget so quickly? Doing “stuff” isn’t easy. It takes planning. And guess what? NOTHING is predictable. NOTHING. People aren’t and the weather definitely isn’t! Guess what? People change. You change. Circumstances? They definitely change.

So where does that leave us??? A sweet mentor of mine recently brought to my attention, that the rules have changed for me this summer. You’re playing a whole new ballgame too, my friend. You’ve never been here before. Can I get an AMEN?! There are NEW rules! And NO ONE told you the rules before the game started! You know what that’s like? Major frustration! Check this out… So, I was playing Monopoly with my three older kids Saturday, and being the prideful adult that I am, I assured my kids… “sure I remember how to play this game!” I mean, seriously you are 8, 9 and 12, I’ll show you how this game is played. You kids! You might know Ipads, apps and Netflix, but mama knows Monopoly! Only problem is that it’s been like 30 years since I’ve played, so I was totally secretly learning as I went. Which worked out great for like two minutes, until I had spent all of my money buying every property I could and then it happened…Mom was duped!

When they landed on my property and I was still analyzing my next play, I totally missed that they landed on my “St. James Place” and owed me money. And as quick as he could, my witty 12-year-old son rolled the dice for his turn, when his “play-money broke” Mom said, “Wait you owe me!” To which, can you believe those little brats insisted, there was no way they were paying! Since I didn’t say anything till after my turn all I got was, “Sorry Charlie! Those are the RULES!”

I wanted to tell them they can take their rules right up to their room! But after reminding myself that any poor sport ridiculous behavior would only set a bad example (blah blah blah) I settled for a snarky, “fine, don’t look at me and when you don’t remember the rules to a game and want some grace.”  SERIOUSLY! Who created these little monsters!?

Well I’m sad to report that after a 7-hour game of Monopoly – because it really is the longest board game known to mankind – Mom lost the game to a 9- and 12-year-old team. I guess I understand now why my 8 year old didn’t want to be on my team. I would blame the loss on her, but I totally made her think I had it all together. Mama’s got this! (Don’t we always! Ha!)

Isn’t this like the rules in life though? They are constantly changing. Ok, maybe in my Monopoly story, the rules didn’t change. Sometimes we just forget the rules. But either way, we are learning as we go. So where you thought by now you would have started checking items off your Summer 2019 Memory Making bucket list with a joyful smile of accomplishment, here’s the reality… You’re exhausted! You’re trying to figure out how you can turn that family vacation at the end of the summer into a kid-free getaway where rules don’t matter and responsibilities don’t exist. Your kids are getting to bed later every night which means later for you. Your exercise “routine” has vanished, your grill is still cold from the winter, and the kids have lived off ball park hot dogs, or chicken nuggets if you actually decided to cook for once. It’s a disgrace! And so is the bill at the pool for all the junk food the kids are ordering with a 4-digit number you wish you’d never given them. Oh, and what’s one more night without a shower? Swim practice is in the morning. What’s the point? Bottom line, my fight is getting weak and I just want you in bed sooner kid. Love you, night night!

So where am I going with all this? Goodness, I was starting to wonder the same! Don’t we all just need to vent sometimes though? You don’t have to keep telling every acquaintance you run into in the neighborhood when asked how your summer is, that it’s just GREAT! Let’s start being more real friends! What you really want to say is – I wish I could say it’s great, some moments I would totally mean it, and some moments I feel like… Yep! FLOP! Total flop! I’m riding the hot mess express and if you came to my house unannounced (don’t you dare) you’d see the mess! Unless of course you come every other glorious Thursday around 10:30 am when my cleaning crew is finishing up! Ahh! And if you dare judge me for having a cleaning crew (that I probably can’t afford), I double dare you to live a week in my shoes. I’ll leave it at that.

So what I was saying about venting is… do it! Ok, you don’t want to explode on everyone all of your drama. I want you to keep a few friends – you’ll need them. But it sure is good for the soul to get out the real thoughts. It’s therapy, y’all! Afterall, if you don’t get that stuff out, those thoughts will swim round and round in your head and make you lose your ever-loving mind! I’m super thankful for my dear friends who are willing to listen to my crazy. And to you dear reader: I hope I can offer some sort of encouragement, insight or comfort to you here and there, but let me tell you something – you do SO much for me! Just letting me get this out. AHHH! (I just totally SOL’d – sighed out loud) You are my therapy, so if you ever feel like you’re lacking purpose or servanthood, I got you covered. You just reading this is service to this lady who needs to vent too!

More importantly though than just venting, I have a greater inspiration for all of this. I need you to understand this. YOU. ARE. ENOUGH. Was yesterday a flop? Last week? The entire past month? Was it? Was it really? Maybe it was. Probably not. And definitely no more for you than every other parent on the block AND all those fancy pants social media highlight reel posting friends. You know that mom of two down the street that can’t keep up with all the demands of her dance mom life and baseball mom life simultaneously, all while bringing something besides nuggets to the table for dinner again at 9 pm. She’s no different either. She would tell you you’re not a flop. She would tell you that even though those sweet children you adore haven’t thanked you for being awesome, she sees the summer joy written all over their faces. You know, that look you can remember feeling as a kid when you ran around outside without a care in the world. Summer freedom! No lives of human beings to be responsible for.

Stop being so hard on yourself. I repeat, YOU ARE ENOUGH. Period. Your kids will look back on the lack of routine and rollercoaster of a summer with a smile and remember freedom and spontaneity. Sure, it feels crazy to you. You are the one trying to play a game with rules to a different game, an old game, and forgetting the players are different this year. You really haven’t been here before. So while it feels a bit wild to you, know this – you are not alone. We all feel it. And not only is this normal, but this is the way it’s supposed to be. So embrace that! You might feel like the summer is killing you, but friend, I think YOU are killing it! And while you’re at it, embrace the madness. You’ll get to a few of the things you wanted to get to – Ok, maybe not near as many as you wanted to originally – but you’ll get to the ones you are supposed to.

And if your day really was a flop, because, let’s face it, we all mess up. Guess what? You get a redo tomorrow. God greets us everyday with a loving smile and offers you a hand of help. Take that help tomorrow. For today (or any day you need it) I give you permission to quit! Go ahead and leave your work badge on the nightstand tonight. But, pick it back up in the morning with a refreshed perspective. Be ready to give yourself some grace and walk through the day knowing it won’t be predictable, but it will be exactly what it’s supposed to be.

I’m learning to have more faith and to trust God even the details of life. I’ve been trying to relay this to my kids lately too. Not that they pay one bit of attention! Ha! But hey, I’m trying – that’s all we can do. But just like the big events in life can turn to good and have purpose, so is there purpose in the seemingly minor details. Same with the mundane and even little annoyances of the day. Yes, they are all on purpose. So rest easy friends. This will be a summer to remember no matter what. What feels meaningless right now, will someday be reminisced about by your children and you’ll be shocked at the things that meant so much to them. Don’t avoid making the memories, I’m not suggesting that, but know that you’re making them whether you try to or not. You are loved. Your people think you’re awesome. I KNOW you’re awesome.

I want to leave you with this… All of this said, you may still be exhausted. Please, take time for you. You need it for you and for everyone who has to deal with you. Or everyone who is lucky enough to be graced with your presence I should say. Anyway, part of being a kid is making memories on their own. So let them be on their own – meaning without you. And you without them. It’s good for you. It’s good for them. Like right now, as I write. I haven’t sat to do this, one of the things that fills me the most, in a week, and I’ve been left with little to give. In the meantime, my daughter just walked in and asked if she could go out and ride her bike around the circle. The mom in me that has always felt like “I” need to create memories for my kids in the summer was like, Gosh, I should get up and go play with her… but it literally just dawned on me… as I’m thinking about summer memories from my childhood, the ones that warm my soul when I think about them, most did not include my parents. Not because they weren’t there or didn’t give us plenty. They did! But the best summer memories come from within. It was the freedom I felt riding my bike down the big hills near our neighborhood, a spontaneous wiffle ball game, knocking on doors to see who was home to play, quiet summer mornings watching cartoons with my sister and brother, falling asleep on the couch slightly sunburned and exhausted after a day at the pool, running through sprinklers, no homework, summer jobs, family cookouts. Give me some time I could write a book on summer memories. They were simple. They were special. So, absolutely, Abigail! Go out and ride your bike and have a blast!

Yes, take time for YOU. We tend to forget this in the summer months. But it’s always important to fill yourself up with the things that bring peace to your soul. Whether it’s two hours by yourself with a good book at the pool, a long walk in the evening with nature or your favorite music on your ear buds, a deep tissue massage at your favorite spa, or even meeting an old friend for a Starbucks latte. You need time to refuel. You just can’t give what you don’t have. Your people need your presence, they need your love. (They also need you to put your phone down, but that’s a different chapter!) When you’re filled up and are with the people you want to make memories with, you’ll have so much more to give. You’ll have more love and life to share. And that’s where memories are created. Where there is love, life, and laughter.

So remember this… Note To Self: There are new rules this summer, and you really need to cut yourself some slack because we’re all just learning as we go. Know and you’re doing awesome just the way you are. Memories are being made, just the way they were intended.

P.S. I would be so honored if you would share this entry. My hope is to reach more people who need these words of encouragement just like you and I do. Click “Share” below. Thank you for your continued support friends! – Keri