(AUDIO Version also available here)

My Grandmother used to say, “Pretty is, as pretty does.” And if I’m being honest, as a young girl, I had no idea what she was talking about. But I do now. It’s simple actually. You are only as pretty as what you do. Have you ever noticed a woman who you thought was very attractive when you first met her? But then later you got to know the real her, and she didn’t quite have attractive behavior or a very pretty heart at all. Her actions and her behavior weren’t so attractive, to the point that all of a sudden, she didn’t “look” so pretty to you on the outside either. It happens “Pretty” ladies… Pretty is, as pretty does. 

But let’s talk about “Busy.” Because everyone is busy these days, right? And can I be totally honest for a minute? It kind of drives me crazy. Not everyone being busy, but everyone constantly complaining about it. Get ready! You’re about to see my passion come out here. If you haven’t noticed yet, this girl can get a bit fiery when she gets passionate about something. But, it’s so true, I hear complaints non-stop from people about their busy lives and busy schedules. All. The. Time. EVERYWHERE. And I have a newsflash…

You are the reason that you are busy! I hate to break it to you, but it really is true. You actually have more control over your “busy “than you realize. Likely all the control. People complain about being busy as if someone else made all these plans for them. Right? I bet someone else didn’t though. Ok, if they did, you may have another issue that has something to do with allowing people to control you. But, I bet if you looked at your busy week ahead with travel, practices, games, hair appointments, birthday parties, social gatherings, meetings, whatever… at some point, you said “yes” to each of these things. Sorry to push buttons, but we have to first fess up to this simple concept if we want to get a grip.

Busy is, as Busy does. Pretty much, you are as busy as you decide you are going to be. You may have a good excuse for why you said yes, but you said yes. And might I suggest that your “good” excuse isn’t even as good as you think.  Many times your “yes” has a lot to do with FOMO. Seriously, many times we over crowd out schedules because we have a Fear Of Missing Out. We over schedule our kids activities so they don’t miss out… Miss out on the birthday party, the chance to get a scholarship, or make the school basketball team. We over-schedule ourselves afraid we’ll miss something on something at the party, at the conference, or the weekend away with the girls. But think of all the things you’re doing. If you could sit and get to the root of why you say yes to each thing, too many times its root is in FOMO of something. Or maybe it’s people pleasing, and you can read what I had to say about that in last week’s entry if that’s your issue. (Click here for last week’s entry.)

But, end of the day, you decided to do all the things that you do. You are the reason that you are busy. Busy is, as busy does. And I’m not necessarily saying “busy” is a bad thing and that you should change what you’re doing – Maybe you’re good with your busy.  But if you aren’t wanting to change anything, can I make a suggestion? Can we agree to stop complaining so much about it? Sure it’s annoying for everyone else that has to hear it because – another newsflash – that person you are venting too, is likely rolling their eyes inside because, guess what?? She is BUSY TOO. We all are. 

But besides the fact that we’re all busy, complaining about it creates so much negativity. And negativity will effect you more than anything. Looking at your busy schedule with a negative attitude creates at best, dread and frustration, and at worst, ungratefulness and depression. When in reality, EVERYTHING you are busy with – and I’m going to change the way I reference it – Everything you are FULL with, in the week ahead, is actually a blessing. But, because you forgot that you chose these things, and because you decided to complain about it, you don’t see it that way. You see your full schedule as a “busy burdens” versus “full of blessings.” If you aren’t willing to give anything up, if you at least stop complaining so much, it could assist in the shift to a positive mindset. A mindset where you can start to see how blessed you are instead of how busy you are. 

Next time you catch yourself complaining about how busy you are, throw in how blessed you because of all you truly do have. And you know that deep down, I bet, don’t you? I bet you wouldn’t dare complain how busy you are with your kids to a mom who just lost a child, would you? Or how about this… Would you complain to someone who’s been out of a job for six months about how busy your work is? Would you complain about how much work your house is to clean and decorate, to someone who’s house just burned down. Ok, I rest my case. I think you get it. We are blessed friends, so thank God for what you have, and maybe you’ll enjoy your blessings a little more this week.

My last bit of advice is for those of you who actually do want to get rid of something. Who do actually want to take back a little control of their life… Ask yourself one simple question…

What can I get rid of? If you’re doing xyz because of some sort of FOMO, may I suggest you put a little more trust in God with whatever it is that you are afraid you, or your kid, will miss out on? I learned a huge lesson a few years back. It was a lesson about God. One that has changed my life, and maybe it will help you too. It’s this… Did you know that if you follow God and seek His will, nothing you do or don’t do can keep His will from coming to be. That means, you can stop trying to control everything because… here’s what I learned about God… He’s got this. He is in control of your kids and your destiny. Not you. So you can let a few things go and free up your schedule a bit, because if it’s meant to be, it’ll be. (Yep, just like the song.)

And make sure you also keep in mind, after you get rid of the excess, that something new will always come your way. Something begging to make your schedule more busy again.  So make sure, when something comes in, that something goes out, or you’ll find yourself right back where you didn’t want to be. Unless of course you don’t consider yourself busy, but everyone does…. Remember?

Friend, busy is, as busy does. Yes, it’s you who makes you busy. We all have a choice. Whether you have FOMO or you are busy pleasing others… complaining about our “busy’ will breed negativity and cause you to forget how blessed you really are. 

Focus on your “full blessings” not your “busy burdens.” Because you are so very blessed. And if you’re ready to free yourself of the crazy, make some cutbacks knowing God is control, not you, my dear friend. 

(Click here for AUDIO version)

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