It’s always a rough start to the day when you haven’t even made it out of your bedroom and you can hear one of your kids being reprimanded for something. I just hate it. I hate that my husband and my son had to start the day with anger, and I hate that one of my children has to then face and deal with the consequences of their actions. Because I know it literally breaks his heart to lose his beloved phone for three days. First world problems, I know! Anyway,  I really, just want some peace! Is it too much to ask? To wake up and have a few moments of peace in the house? Yes, yes it is. Ok, I get it, wake up before the rest of the house does, Keri. Remember, you told yourself you were going to do that at the beginning of the summer before all crazy broke loose and any plan of routine went out the window! My bad!

I had offered to take Will to basketball camp this morning, so I would be the lucky one to have the privilege to counsel the child for 30 minutes on his behavior. And honestly, this was for the best because Mike was so fed up and it wouldn’t have gone well for either of them. Sometimes you just need to remove yourself from a situation that has you fired up before someone gets hurt, right?! Well not literally, but you know what I’m saying, it can escalate and get more heated for sure. Here you have two “right” people with different opinions – always a tough scenario to create resolution.

Can you relate? Have you ever been frustrated with someone? Currently maybe? Angry? Bitter or resentful? I’d be willing to bet someone has already come to mind! Maybe a few. Am I right? And do you feel justified to feel this way? I bet you do or you wouldn’t be so bothered and angry.

Friends, I hate to be a bubble burster now, like I was for my son this morning, when I tell you that 100% of the time, you are not perfect. As much as it pains me to admit, neither am I. What I’m saying is that you are never 100% right and justified in any situation. It’s true! If you have a lot of pride, you are going to want to bail right now, but hear me out on this… I was convicted of the same concept recently. Because I feel like I try really hard to do the “right” thing. And, maybe I mostly do. Maybe you mostly do too! BUT, guess what I was reminded of?  The anger, bitterness, and resentment we feel in our hearts towards others “wrongdoings,” is just as much a sin as the so-called “wrong” they have done to you. Ouch! Yep, we aren’t always as innocent as we think.

I shared this thought process with Will in the car ride to camp this morning. I’m sure all adolescents love when their parents get all philosophical and preachy. I could tell it was hard for him to digest. I’m sure it was! It’s hard for adults to digest. It’s always difficult to take a deep look at our own hearts and admit where we are flawed. It hurts! It makes us feel sad and down on ourselves. It make us feel ugly inside. Humility is hard.

But we need to know this… there is always room to grow ourselves. There is always room to perfect our hearts. Always. Oh friends, the sooner we learn this, the sooner life can get so much sweeter. Some never get it. And for those bitterness just grows. Ever see an old grumpy person? I’ve seen tons. Bitterness grows if you don’t uproot and suffocate it. I’ve also seen some really sweet old people. Isn’t it the best?! They got it! The good thing is you’re never too old to change.

And the good news continues. Yes, it may be hard to humble ourselves and find where we went wrong in a given situation, but like the sweet old people, you will be so much happier if you do this. Admitting to ourselves that we did something less than perfect may hurt, but holding onto anger and bitterness hurts even more. Am I right?

For example, I can admit that there are times I have had feelings of anger toward my husband for little things and then sometimes bigger things. And the anger doesn’t feel good at all and it definitely doesn’t make me happy. But oh how much better I feel when I can admit these wrong feelings of anger and be sorry for them. Oh how much happier I am when I give grace for his imperfections because I know I have imperfections that I surely don’t want knit-picked to death either. Giving grace and forgiveness to others as you would like them to do for you feels way better than harboring anger and frustration. It just does! Forgiveness is freedom and anger is painful self-torture. You have a choice. Choose humility.

In trying to explain this to a twelve-year-old, his response was “ok, I get it. So, Dad should stop in the moment, and humble himself and see where he could possibly be wrong, right?” …Oh my! Totally missing the point here! This message is not for the person who “wronged” you. Their heart and reactions are none of your concern. If you’re focused on fixing them, you’re missing the point and the frustration will stay and turn into other negative feelings. Seriously, don’t you have a hard enough time controlling your own thoughts and emotions much less trying to change those of others? You can’t do anything about them. It’s not your job to change them. That’s God’s job. Not to mention in this case… He’s your dad, son, and what he says goes while you’re under his roof… sorry, kids! And friends, don’t waste your time pleading your case. Fix you and move on with it!  

It’s time to stop wasting our life focusing on the sins and wrong doings of others and take a look inside our own hearts. Never be too proud. Be humble enough to look within and ask yourself what you could have done differently to create a more peaceful outcome at any point in the situation? There’s always something. Ask yourself: How can I grow? How can I be better? …Note to Self: There is always room for you to grow. Always. And when you humble yourself in this way you will be so much more happy, more free, and life will be a little sweeter friends.

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