Have you ever lost something that didn’t want to be found? Or so it seemed? My 12-year-old son has an unrelenting habit of misplacing things. For the record, he really is a GREAT kid, but I’m convinced the old saying “if it was a snake it would’ve bit ya!” was made for Will. In fact, speaking of old sayings, if I had a dime for every time he “temporarily” lost something, well we’d be living in a multi-million dollar beach house on the Panhandle of Florida which is heaven on earth in my opinion! It’s quite humorous really…just last week when we he “couldn’t find” his Nike slides flip-flops before heading to the pool, he turns around in circles, skimming the room at eye-level, and declaring, “I can’t find them anywhere!”

You’ve got to be kidding me?! What in the world makes this obviously reasonable adolescent, think he’s going to find his shoes at counter-height or mid-air for crying out loud! Geez, he is his father’s son! Because, you know how it is? You surely can’t claim your child as yours when they do idiotic things! HA! This happens so frequently it seems that eventually the whole family gets in on the search. Only this time, Mike and I promised if we found the magic disappearing slides, we wouldn’t tell him. I mean really…it’s time he learned once and for all. We can’t decide what the problem is.

Does he just give up too easy? Does he simply like to have help and not feel so alone in the lonely search? Does he just want someone else to do the grunt work? Or maybe it’s our fault? Maybe we just screwed up royally along the way and made him lazy?

He is the first born, by the way! Sorry, I hope I don’t offend anyone here. I truly do believe the first born by default develops many special traits and characteristics. But let’s face it… your first child is your guinea pig! You have no earthly idea what in the world you’re doing when you bring them into this world. And this isn’t just the case for babies; they are your first experience with every phase of parenting. So sorry, Will, we’re doing our best to navigate middle school in this decade, but we’re really just learning as we go! Trial and error, right?! I would say we should nail it by the time our now 15-month-old twins are in middle school! On second thought, the age gap is so large that I’m convinced that these then ancient parents will be clueless once again!

Just so you know, he did find the shoes. And guess what?! He always does… eventually, but with a little guidance. And with each new quest for the item he’s seeking out, it appears quicker. I actually think someday with all this experience he will get to a point of putting the right practices in place to find things himself. Come to think of it…isn’t this a lot of things in life?

It came to my attention, after analyzing this interesting trait of his, that this reminds me a lot of how I have looked for purpose or my next assignment, so to speak, in life. Have you ever been going along with your life, but with this feeling that maybe there’s something more for you? You want something more, but you don’t know how or where to find it. Maybe you’re generally happy where you are, but something has you feeling like life has been a tad mundane lately. You might even feel a bit blah, but you can remember a time in your past when there was excitement! Something you were doing, getting ready to do, thinking about doing, or had just done, that made you feel a passion and a zest for life.

How do you get that back? Wouldn’t it be awesome to feel that again?! You know…the way you felt as a kid on Christmas Eve, or maybe the way you felt on your wedding day, or when you were in mid-air flight with your best friend or spouse on that vacation you’d dreamt about, or that job you left 10 years ago that didn’t pay much but you had a boss who made you feel so valuable everyday. How about the first summer you had your driver’s license in high school?  Do you remember how much fun that was?! You felt so full of life that summer! I can look back on my life and recall many feelings like this. Can you? Some of these things might have just breathed joy and life into you, and other similar moments, you may have actually had a feeling of great value and purpose at the time. But either way, looking back, you felt like you were right where you were supposed to be, and it was awesome!

The unfortunate part is, sometimes we don’t realize how purposeful these experiences are when the moments tend to pass and the excitement likely fades. Then soon, without realizing it initially, we are looking for the next adventure or moment of thills to fill our soul.

It took me a while to actually realize this rollercoaster of highs and blahs is normal, ok, and actually on purpose for good. Before that, if you want to know the truth, I got a complex that something was wrong with me. Don’t let someone make you think if you are living for and seeking one adventure to the next that it is a bad thing. In fact, I personally think you’re really special and that the “play-it-safers” that have different interests and desires don’t understand your zest and spontaneity. They might even try to manipulate you until you find yourself looking in the mirror asking, “Can I EVER be happy?” And then you feel bad about yourself…. “Gosh, can I be happy? What’s wrong with me?”

Ok, stop that! Crush that voice! Remember that summer in high school?! Of course you can be happy! You might be surrounded by risk averse people who are kind of bored with life in all reality these days. These people sometimes have to convince themselves, since they aren’t willing to make any changes, that they better be happy where they are, because this is as good as it gets. Now, to defend the ultra-caution ones, this might be just where they should be, and where they should stay for a while, and that’s fantastic. BUT, I have a theory to share for you and me who are daring enough to keep seeking and searching for the next adventure. This is a theory based on the idea that these desires are actually planted in our hearts with a specific purpose for life. Planted on purpose for your next assignment, we have to recognize them as that and then look hard that purpose.

Alright! Before I dig much deeper; I need to ask you a BIG favor of you… Will you stay with me, friends?? Ok, good! I need to make it clear where my beliefs stem from… my faith in God. Now remember, I asked you to stay with me! I know many of you can’t relate to that idea, and that is ok with me. But for right now, I would like nothing more than those of you who think and believe differently than I do to allow me to share with you anyway. Would you allow me that privilege? I have learned so much incredibly good information from people who have different interests and opinions than I do.

What if, just maybe, there is a concept I can share? One that you can apply to your circumstances to then be inspired and learn something too? Something that could ultimately change your life for the better. How awesome would that be? Would it be worth it? That is my hope; that is my purpose. So, if I reference God too much for your liking in this entry or another down the road… What if you can’t relate? Please know this…you can trust me. You can trust that regardless of where I claim my thoughts, they are inspired…my heart is honest and open and cares for you and your quality of life. Take what you can from my words and stories. And, Note To Self… I can learn a lot from you too.  

So, here’s where I was going with that…  I personally believe that God is the source of the desires placed in my heart. Likewise, I believe He has equipped me with specific strengths intentionally, to lead me where I am meant to be at given phases in life. Desires and strengths necessary to find and live out the specific assignments and ultimate purpose designed uniquely for me. Oh, and dear friend, I believe this to be true for you too. You are on purpose with purpose. Say that out loud, “I am on purpose WITH purpose.” You are, my friend!

Ok, one more disclaimer, I am not referring to desires that are not in line with good moral standards. My moral standards just so happen to be based on the Bible (surprise, right?), but I am not suggesting that a desire that is self-destructive or harmful to others is a desire you should give ANY attention to. In fact, in my opinion, that is straight up the devil, and if you give into that, you’ll end up in a heck of a mess! A HUGE mess, and definitely far from that “purposeful vest for life” feeling I referenced.  

Anyway, regardless of whom or what you claim as the source of your dreams and desires (remember, the “good” ones), they are on purpose for a greater plan. So no, I don’t feel guilty for seeking more joy and my hearts desires because THAT has led me to find my purpose. Yes, you should be thankful for where you are and what you have right now, but it’s totally ok, friends, to want more. It’s likely God planted seeds of wanting more to encourage you to grow and to give you the courage to go for it!

What’s exciting is that many times desires will change as the assignments for you along the way change. I could write an entire book on how my twin girls (number 4 and 5) came to be, but here’s the short of it. I was done after three. As in capital D.O.N.E; we’re complete!  I have more than enough on my plate…DONE! My heart’s desire said nothing about having another baby for a solid five years!

Near the end of that period, I entered a phase of discontent, and, you know, the blahs came in again. Until all of a sudden, it started happening. Little voices that said, “Maybe you aren’t done” got louder and louder. Voices that at first I resisted, that made me say “No way!”, but that eventually turned to desires of Go For It that got stronger and stronger. Until it got so strong, I took the path of resistance that was calling my name, and well, I guess you know how that ended! We like to say, double blessed!

Back to looking for something you are struggling to find. When you wonder if there could be more or when you long for something more, start with your interests and current desires. What are yours? What do you enjoy? What are you good at? What have you always wanted to do? What voice are you ignoring that makes you smile when you think about what if? What if I hadn’t felt unsettled and discontent in life enough to seek to the depths of my being where God wanted me to go to next? It wouldn’t have brought our beloved twins into the world. And later down the road when I was searching again, it lead me to you.

I wouldn’t be writing this if I hadn’t identified the desires on my heart and decided to take a risk to follow the path. Same with my marriage. I have an amazing husband, but we wouldn’t have the strong relationship that we do if we didn’t have the constant desire to be better, to be more. I wouldn’t have worked so hard on my marriage until it started to become the dream of a relationship I desire. …There is so much purpose in the creation of those babies. There is great purpose in the ministry of my marriage. And I believe there is great purpose in my words to you. What I get so excited about is that the purpose never ends. Your purpose never ends. It’s continual. I get excited to see where all of my purpose-filled assignments lead, how they evolve, who they inspire and how they are used for the greater good to some: for God’s glory, in my eyes.

If you aren’t sure what your dreams and desires are, then you might be in need of some sort of inspirational brainstorming session. A session to free up space in your cluttered head. For me, something as brief as a ten-minute jog or 20 minutes invested in a good book can be enough to get my dreamer cap turned on. But sometimes if you’ve taken such a lengthy hiatus from thinking about your hopes and dreams you might need to prioritize some sort of “total escape from the world” type of vacation. One FREE of distractions! Sounds heavenly right?? You might be thinking, “yeah right, you don’t know my life, not possible!” Ok, you’re right, I don’t. But, I promise if you make this a priority and start planning a get-a-way of some sort like this, you will be amazed the space you’ll find in your head and your heart for dreaming again.  

My husband and I recently went on a six-day, kid-free trip to the beach. Yep, that’s right! KID-FREE! Just the two of us! And, OH MY GOODNESS! The creative juices and inspirations started flowing! And more importantly, we made amazing memories and had a blast! The inspiration from that trip was when I decided I was going to start this blog. I decided I couldn’t keep my passions to myself anymore. But, just because you can identify your interests and desires doesn’t mean it will automatically come clear to you what action to take next. It doesn’t always come quickly, but that’s ok! The seeds are planted and that’s a great start. Hold those thoughts, you might be on to something!

But I will say this…having your passions present on your heart and mind will make it much more evident on your search if the path is for you. It’s like Will’s shoes… you have to have a pretty clear picture in mind of what the missing item looks like if you’re going to search for it and find it easier. If you are just looking for “shoes” you might get side-tracked and stop and ask, “Is this it?” 20 times before you get a “YES!”

When I decided to have “baby #4,” I was searching. Prior to that revelation, I was feeling discontent in general. That was when I started paying attention to the little voices of desires that began to be laid on my heart and started the search. So, having a better picture will help you more easily find what you’re searching for, but you also have to look much harder and deeper sometimes. At times you may need to ask for help from a trusted friend or someone who has knowledge or experiences in that area. Other times, you’ll need to get out of your comfort zone and look in the unobvious places. I started serving others and received direction from “baby signs” everywhere! Is was almost bizarre! Sometimes, you need to actually stop the search temporarily because maybe the purpose you’re looking for is right in front of you, like right within the walls of your home, or your workplace. As in you are exactly where you are supposed to be so you just might need to stop and smell the roses for a while.

Bottom line. Pay attention to the desires of your heart… they will lead you to your purpose.  Those desires are on purpose. Search hard for good direction and never be afraid to take risks. When you, my bold friend, take a step, keep in mind that even if you don’t get what you thought, you’ll get one of two things: either you get something better or that experience will prepare you for the next adventure. Either way, you grow. GROWTH is where the magic happens. If you aren’t growing better through your circumstances and moments of life (so the old saying goes) you’re growing bitter. Choose to grow better! Choose be bold! Note to Self… Choose to seek your purpose.