Do you ever struggle with… YOU? Does it seem there’s just something about you that goes against the grain, gets in others’ way, or inconveniences someone?

How about this… Do you long to slink away from crowds when your heart is crowded?

I sure do.

Here’s a peek at my wacky conscience these days… “If I could only be more social, exude abundant energy, speak the perfect words, acquire that magnetic charm generating ease in those around me, I could be oodles more comfortable… more happy… more of all the “good stuff.” Oh, and people would like and approve of me more too! Then, God could REALLY use me. THEN, I’d shine as the bright light I long to be to everyone in my path.”

But life doesn’t quite transpire this way. Many times, many of us, don’t feel we fit our surroundings. Personally, I rarely feel full enough to fill the wide gaping spaces, loud enough to match the noise, energetic enough to keep the pace of the room. I wonder… How is everyone else doing it? How do they find all that “enough-ness?” Or do they wish to crawl into hibernation for a season too?

Should I? Should you? Can God use a soul hiding alone where no one but HE is present?

When all I want is to run from the “overwhelm,” I assume that I must be missing something! I just don’t have “enough” to offer my surroundings. …But, but, buuuut! Friend, this is the enemy’s trickery. If you’re hearing these deceptive “not enough” voices you’re being deceived too. The truth is, God calls us ON purpose… God made you like YOU on purpose. And, it may very well be to fill you full in private in order to pour on to others in public.

We all need to retreat to quiet spaces where our thoughts are free to hear God clearly. Regardless of who and what “seems” in need, this is not something to feel guilt, shame, or discouragement about. Go there, run there, stay there a while… let God fill you up. It’s part of His perfect plan for you… and for those around you.

Reflect: Are you feeling like you don’t measure up to your own big expectations or the pace of others? Could it be that God is luring you in for some much needed alone time with him?

Pray:  Dear Lord, I admit, I feel inadequate so many days, like I’m falling short of the fullness I misperceive in others. But God, help me notice in me what you see, a perfectly planned creation that needs you more than anything. A soul that requires a full filling of You to pour back out to others. Help me know that alone with you is exactly where you want me. On purpose, for a great purpose. Thank you for your non-stop loving presence. Amen.

Seek The Word: But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. (Matthew 6:6)  Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world. (Psalm 46:10)

Have a blessed week!

Your friend, Keri Ann

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