July 31st will forever be a date I remember… Two of the most pivotal days of my life were marked by this date. Two days, 14 years apart…
Part One:
July 31, 2003… It was a hot and very humid summer day in Louisville, Kentucky. My sister had invited me to a Louisville Bats Baseball game in her company suite after work. If I’m being honest, I never was much for baseball. Football, yes! Baseball? No, thanks! Bor-ing! But yet, I was 23-years-young, and single, and seriously had nothing else better to do on a Thursday night. And being that my sister was always good at persuading me to do things I didn’t want to do, I agreed to join her and some of her colleagues. Interestingly, on this particular occasion, a male co-worker of hers would be inviting some of his friends too. I honestly didn’t think much of what was all along probably a plan to gather a bunch of singles on the prowl. In fact, I had come to a place of hopelessness with dating. To be honest, in many ways, the dream of meeting “the one” had died. Let me explain…
As a young girl I was the epitome of a hopeless romantic. I started falling in love with “people in love” as young as I can remember. I always joke and tell my husband I can remember every crush I had since I was in preschool. What a mess! I fell in love, in songs, in the movies, on TV shows, in plays, and with real life couples I knew. You know what’s really sad about this? It’s hard enough going through your own heartbreak, but I would be just as heartbroken when Brenda and Dylan in 90210 broke up! And Ross and Rachel?! Surely they will still end up together, right? I would dream up my own fantasy future too. I can remember my big Barbie “dream” house complete with Barbie and Ken and their twin babies! That was going to be me! (Ironic, huh!?) And for my real future, from the age of about ten through college I was sure I would fall into one of the following categories. I would…
A. Marry my high school sweetheart like my parents did. Even though we all know there’s like a .0001 percent chance of that happening. Sorry, teenage readers! Or I would…
B. Find my knight in shining armour and future father of my children in college while hanging out in the library of the University Med school (a bar would have been the more likely case for me. Ugh!), OR…
C. Boyfriend A or B would realize how insanely crazy he was to let this gem go and would be outside my window in the rain at 3 am pleading for my return with a diamond ring, begging to have me forever.
Oh, how this is all so humorous to me now! But I’m not kidding I totally had images in my head of my future playing out like something in the movies or a country music song. Get a clue, girl!
I’ll go ahead and spoil the ending and let you know, as surprised as you might be, that not A, B, or C ever happened. But, I did finally find the prince, just not the way and in the timing I had originally dreamed up. And I eventually did let go of these ridiculous dreams. Well, I don’t give up easy, so I didn’t let the dream of the happy ending die completely, or easily by any means. But truth be told, after LOTS of heartache post-college, even more lessons learned from stupid rebound choices, I found myself single and in a seriously depressed, lonely place of self-pity with no where to look but up. Anyone else been there? Oh, what I would do to keep my kids from having to endure this. But, no way that’s happening! We ALL have to go through the “yuck” to get to the good.
But at the bottom of my pit, I decided it was time to work on me. A mentor (ok, therapist, I was low) at the time helped me understand how loved and lovable I was, alone. I started exploring more about who I was, who God said I was. I even learned and started to see that just maybe God had a plan and a dream a bit different than mine. And just maybe, His dream was even better than mine. It was in that process that I let my dream die. And here’s the crazy thing, when I let my dream die – the dream of prince charming being right in front of me – that’s when he walked in the door…
I’ll never forget the smile on his face and the look in his eyes that hot summer night in July. I don’t know if it was “love” at first sight, but Mike Eichberger’s “look” captured my attention. I saw something immediately that looked so genuine and so kind. Apparently I made the same impression because it wasn’t long before this stranger made his way to the seat next to me and introduced himself. I remember how comfortable I felt and how interested in ME he was. The “new” me. The “me” who was happy with herself and knew she was valued with or without “him.” It was 16 years ago, but I can literally picture us sitting in those seats, him to my left, my feet propped up on the seat in front of mine and we were smitten the whole night. I’m not quite sure how the crew dissolved and went there own directions and I don’t know what kept him from asking how to see or speak to me again, but I’ve come to learn when something is meant to be, God will find a way. And find a way He did… eventually.
It wasn’t immediate that we would see each other again. I continued to work on being happy with myself and with what God put in my life each day as it came. This foundation was so important before I could accept the gift and dream coming my way. Also, I was a bit of a shy girl and still expected to be pursued like my sweet Mom had taught me. Girls don’t chase or call boys. That’s how I was raised, and I thank my parents for that! So, when I did have the opportunity I didn’t dare approach him at the gym we both just so happened to join after our initial encounter. Ok, truth, my nerves and lingering insecurities forced me to straight up avoid him! Again, good thing other forces were working in our behalf…
It was now the end of September, and once again, my sister asked if I’d join her at a friend’s house to hang out before “hitting the town”. It was the weekend and I was 23, and this the norm at this point in life for many at our age. However, this time, I didn’t feel like it. Remember, I had let the dream die and was tired of the chase. BUT when she said, “Hey, I heard Mike Eichberger is going to be there”, she had my serious attention. Butterflies filled my stomach, and I was ALL in!
I can’t tell you how many times Mike and I have replayed that night in conversation in our now 16 years. We both agreed is was nothing short of magical… I know it sounds super cheesy, but it’s so true. I remember seeing him walk into the kitchen of that little house, and I can picture him walking over to me immediately (like it was slow motion). And I can remember that this time the smile he carried was even bigger. We still recall how natural it felt when he reached out and held my hand maybe within two hours of our eyes locking and he didn’t leave my side till the end of the night.
I have to say the rest is history, or “to be shared at a later date”, because this was our true beginning. We had a few more twists and turns before the “I do’s”. But in our hearts, after this… I was his, and he was mine.
I realize the journey was long to find him. That’s an understatement. I bet you had a long journey to find yours. Maybe you haven’t found him. Maybe you need to let the dream die to make room for the answer. Maybe you’re on round 2….
If you’re not where you want to be, if you have a dream, I believe God has a plan for you. Friends, It just may look different than what you have in mind. It may be better. But sometimes you have to let it go in order to make room to receive it. I believe there is always work to be done inside us – to prepare our hearts to receive what is in store next. Many times there are lessons to be learned. Sometimes there are things we need to remove or even figure out. And, then sometimes if we received our gift too early we wouldn’t appreciate it. Mike always says he wished we had met in highschool. Oh yes, it sure would’ve saved a lot of pain, but I always tell him, “Sadly, I’m not sure I would’ve appreciated you then.” I needed to grow up, become the solid woman of God I am today, to be ready to receive the dream. The dream that was bigger and greater than anything I could ever have imagined.
Friends, what dream do you have that you need to let die so you can make room in your life to receive it?
It’s happened to me many times in my life. Perhaps the most profound was my story 14 years later… July 31, 2017. Next week I’ll post Part Two “Sometimes You Have to Let a Dream Die to Prepare to Receive It: Growing Our Family.” Until then, friends…
P.S. My hope is that words of comfort and encouragement reach others. If you feel so inspired, I would be very honored if you would click “SHARE” below, so your friends can receive this message.
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