(AUDIO version also available here.)
I had a proud son moment yesterday. And I’ll come right out and tell you – my proudest moments as a parent have everything to do with steps and declarations of faith. I may mess up big time with these five kids or mine, but if I can get one thing right, I hope it’s leading them to know God.
My oldest, Will, just got into sports a few years ago. Like many parents these days, my husband and I had to fight the new-age electronic obsession. We tried every sport – spring, summer and fall – from the time he was three and nothing seemed to stick. Not that I cared if any of my kids were pro ball players someday (well maybe my husband secretly did) but the constant choosing the ipad or a video game over playing outside or communicating with actual people, was a real concern.
It wasn’t until his re-entry to little league baseball, the fall of his 4th grade year, when everything changed. Maybe it was timing, maybe our persistence, maybe the amazing coach he had that believed in our son that finally got his attention. Sure these things may have all contributed, but I think God knew what He was doing all along in this shift of interest. It seemed in a matter of months, our son went from being a self proclaimed “electronic guy” to what he now said… “I’m more of a sports guy.”
If you have kids who got into sports a little later than maybe the neighbor kid (who was throwing curve balls at the age of 4), you know the disadvantages they seem to have getting started a little later. Not to mention the fact that the over-focus in electronics remains a struggle. So basically, practice time for the sport of interest become sparse, to say the least. In this case, the disadvantage may have been self-inflicted, but the desire certainly remained strong in my oldest.
He made quite noticeable progress in baseball over the next couple years and it was fun to watch him grow. And then when he made the middle school baseball team… I’ll never forget the look of pride when he got his first jersey with his name printed in bold letters on the back. And, I saw a beaming sense of belonging all over his face on game day getting on the bus with that shiny black and teal jersey.
But it wasn’t enough… his next goal was basketball. His school’s basketball team is pretty spectacular and he thought, “if I could be on the baseball AND basketball team, wouldn’t that be the best! Then people would know I was good at sports… then they’d think I’m a real “sports guy” and that would just be…” I could see the wheels turning.
You know, it’s concerning as a parent when you see your kid put so much emphasis on what others think about them. It’s concerning to think so much of their identity is found in the eyes of others. That their identity would be found in a school team, a sports team, a label of some sort that really has nothing to do with their character.
He was too scared to try out for the basketball team in 6th grade, afraid he’d embarrass himself, and knowing the competition was fierce. But he decided this year to go for it. Mike and I were a little nervous, but we did as any good parent would do and we encouraged him all the way! We even sent him to a couple basketball camps this summer to help him with his game. He’d grown several inches in the last 12 months, so who knew? So…. he did it. He tried out for the basketball team last week.
I won’t drag this out… because I have another point I really want to make here… But, we just got the news Sunday night and drum roll… he didn’t make it.
I tell you what though, this kid handled the news like a champ! We had already had several discussions about how proud we were that he put himself out there. We really were proud! He says he’s been the kid made fun of by his peers time and again… and, he said “they’ll probably make fun of me if I miss shots and mess up in try-outs.” But it’s so important for us to teach our kids – and for that matter to teach ourselves – God has BIG plans for us outside of our comfort zone.
Friends, nothing worth having comes easy. If you don’t try, you’ll never make it. In fact, on the way to tryouts he said, “Mom, you know why I didn’t make the team last year?” Me, “Why is that, Will?” Will, “Because I didn’t try out!” …Yes, you’re right son, “you can’t make any shots you don’t take.” So, yeah, we were pretty proud of him for just trying. And proud of his acknowledging that he can’t make any team in life if he won’t even “try-out.”
So sure we can be proud of anyone who goes for the “win,” but that’s not why I’m the most proud… I surely love my kids to get involved in sports and other organized activities because of all the lessons learned and character building that come with being part of a team, but there’s really only one team I am concerned about them making. Hold that thought…
The night he got the basketball team news, Will, Mike and I were wrapping up our nightly “Jesus Calling for Kids” devotional… We said our prayers and I gave Will a big hug… Before I walked away… as I often do I looked him straight in the eyes, smiled, and said, “I’m so proud of you, Will!”
His usual reply… “Why?”
Tonight my response was this… “You have a whole lot of Jesus in that heart.”
Will: Yeah, I’d make the Jesus Team.
Me: You’re sooo right! Yes, you would.
Will: Team Jesus! (High five) It’s the best team to be on. Most important team to make… (Biggest smile ever)
Me: It sure is (biggest proud Mom smile ever)
…I love you Mom!
…I love you Will.
I walked downstairs with more joy than I imagined I would have possibly had if I found out he made the basketball team.
If any of us can get anything right when it comes to making a team, cheering for a team, or just identifying yourself with a specific group… no team matters as much as “Team Jesus”. While you may have fun and learn lessons identifying with a certain group, your favorite college team, or even a specific political party, these teams will disappoint. The leaders and coaches may bring something good to the table. You may have fun cheering when your team is in the lead or takes home the victory. But, sometimes the rivalry can become bitter. Sometimes you’ll disagree with the play calls of the coaches. Sometimes people become angry with choices and actions of the leader.
Your team will disappoint and too much focus on that team can distract you away from the always winning team… The team that will never let you down. The team that no one gets cut from. The team that teaches the BEST lessons and builds the best character. The team where all fans are accepted and all fans unite! The team that I want all of my kids to be on. The team I want to cheer the loudest for. Let’s put more practice into Team Jesus.
Go to the sports camps, the practices, the meetings. But first, invest in and go to the church camps, the church “practices”… Put those first. Put God first. At the end of the day, our identity in God or our loud cheers for Jesus will give us back more than any team, any club or even any political party association could ever dream of. God is the best coach and the best leader of all time. I want to be on His team. In fact we all can. Let’s cheer together friends!
(AUDIO version also available here.)
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